The way we approach relationships has changed considerably in the past 10 or so years. Social media, phones, apps, and more have all changed how we meet partners and how we interact, and many people are having a hard time determining what is normal and healthy and what is overkill and potentially damaging.
For example, many young people today share their location with the person they’re dating through tools like “Find My iPhone” with Apple, that allows you to keep track of where people are at all times. There is an argument to be made that this can be a helpful tool for married couples, especially if at least one partner is often on a long drive or if you need to keep track of where your kids are.
But what about if you’re dating?
Sharing Location with Someone You’re Dating
Location sharing has become one of those quiet relationship milestones that few people talk about but many experience. It is often presented as a sign of trust or closeness — a way to show transparency or care.
But in reality, it can also create blurred boundaries and introduce new dynamics that many new, dating couples are not prepared to navigate. It is important ot pause and consider what giving someone this level of access truly means.
Being able to see another person’s every movement may seem like you’re creating a stronger connection or building trust, but it’s also something that can quickly cross into surveillance, control, or dependency – especially if boundaries are not clearly defined.
The Difference Between Safety and Monitoring
There are legitimate reasons why people might share locations. Some individuals live in large cities or travel frequently, and location sharing can be a way to confirm safety. It can be useful if someone is walking home late at night or meeting a new person for the first time. In those contexts, the intent is protective, not possessive.
The challenge comes when location sharing becomes routine or expected. If one partner checks locations frequently, questions unexplained movements, or uses the app to test honesty, the behavior begins to move away from concern and toward control. Even subtle comments like “I saw you were at…” can create tension and erode trust.
Healthy relationships depend on communication and mutual respect, not digital visibility. The more partners rely on location tracking to maintain trust, the less opportunity there is to build trust organically.
In addition, at this stage in the relationship, you’re not married. While no one is ever beholden to their partners, dating couples are objectively free to pursue the paths they want to pursue. That is part of the dating process – to live your life and see if and how the other person is supposed to fit into it.
That means that you can hang out with your friends. You can have dinner dates with other people. You can go shopping wherever you want to shop. You can even run into an ex unexpectedly and talk with them over coffee.
You are dating, not married, and while there is an argument to be made that even those that are married should have similar freedoms, those that are dating are not necessarily at a level of commitment that benefits from 24/7 live monitoring.
Technology and the Psychology of Constant Connection
Apps that allow for constant updates can reinforce anxious or insecure attachment patterns. For individuals who already struggle with trust, the ability to “check in” at any time can become compulsive, offering momentary reassurance that ultimately increases anxiety over time.
Therapists often see this dynamic in relationships where one or both partners are navigating past trauma or fear of abandonment. Instead of creating closeness, location sharing can heighten fear — turning a neutral tool into a trigger for suspicion or stress.
Creating Boundaries in the Digital Age
Healthy relationships require clear digital boundaries just as much as emotional ones. It is important for couples to talk openly about what feels comfortable and why. Some may choose to use location sharing only for safety reasons, while others may decide it is unnecessary altogether.
When discussing this topic with your partner, consider questions like:
- Why do we want to share our locations?
- Does this make us feel safer or more anxious?
- Is there another way to stay connected that doesn’t involve tracking?
- Are we both free to stop sharing at any time without it becoming a source of conflict?
These types of conversations help ensure that technology supports your relationship rather than defining it. Most of the time, you’ll find that it is not a beneficial technology to have except in very specific settings where a person’s safety is at risk, and the partner is the best person to address an issue should a safety problem occur.
Maintaining Trust Without Oversharing
Ultimately, location sharing is not inherently good or bad — it is a tool. How it affects your relationship depends on the intent behind it and the boundaries you both maintain. Trust is not built by monitoring another person’s movements, but by creating a relationship where both partners feel secure enough not to need constant proof of one another’s whereabouts.
In a world where apps can make us more connected than ever, it is still emotional safety — not digital access — that builds lasting relationships.
